How do you describe anxiety and depression?

DISCLAIMER: This post contains personal views and experiences discussing mental health. If you do not enjoy posts like this, then kindly skip over and do not read this post. 

It is very difficult to explain how to manage easy day-to-day tasks while you are combating negative and depressing thoughts. I remember days not caring about what I looked like, how I smelled or what I ate. I would try so hard to encourage myself and motivate myself to even do the simplest of tasks like empty the dishwasher, fold clothes or take a shower. I would turn on the TV, scroll through my phone and to try to drown out recurrent thoughts as to why I even tried, if anyone ever cared or why I was still "around." At one point in my life the thought of me even thinking of hurting myself was completely unimaginable; but the day that I reached that point... the day I began imaging certain scenarios in my head and how much better it would make me feel... is when I knew I needed help.

The thought of people feeling bad for me would sometimes make me feel worse. I felt embarrassed about how I felt and afraid of how I felt. I thought I had outgrown this when I had reached College. I was extremely anxious and self conscious in high school where every day I was playing defense, avoiding eye contact and discussion with classmates or teachers. After all these years, I felt like it was something I needed to conquer on my own. I had reached out to a Doctor to discuss about medication options. When she had asked me how I was doing, I began choking out tears. I had felt like I had given up, like I was one of those "crazy people" who had to take medication because they couldn't manage life itself. She had reassured me that the medication I would take and the feelings I had would not bea permanent thing. I was not the only one experiencing the same thoughts and having the same judgement against it. 

As the months go by, I began to notice small changes. Little by little things had finally began to look up. As of this month, have been off my medication for about 4 or so weeks. So far, I  am pleasantly surprised by how much more peaceful and happy I feel. I've learned that I am much more capable than I give myself credit for. Speaking to others about my situation and receiving feedback from those I trust gave me an understanding that there is no shame whatsoever in asking someone for help. Medication helped me get on my feet the way that I didn't know how to do myself. I took the time to really assess myself in my surroundings and in my relationships. Whether I needed to take more baths, read more, practice yoga or just allow myself to take a break, every day became easier and easier. The journey is far from over and I'm sure there will be bumps in the road, but this unpaved journey will turn into an adventure, and I'll take it one day at a time.